Perking Up - Day 16!

Hello dolls! How are things? I'm FINALLY starting to feel better, though I'm definitely not even close to 100%. I'm so thankful that I'm feeling relief from the congestion, but for some reason I'm having stomach issues now. Will this ever end? Hopefully I'm on the road to recovery!

Well, moving on...today is a day of inspiration. I have to post a picture of someone that inspires me. Now, some of you may have no clue about sports or anything of the sort and I completely respect that. However, I am a sports fanatic. I am a graduate of one of the most well-known universities in the nation: Penn State. We are a very large yet close-knit family and our leader is none other than Joe Paterno:

Adorbs! <3



For those of you who don't know anything about Joe, he is 84 years old, adorable, strong, resilient, influential, has won 400+ games, coached 61 seasons, and is a College Football Hall of Fame inductee (one of only three who are still active!). He is our idol. He is an amazing family man and is obsessed not only with his blood family but also his players and his fans. He treats us all as if we're his grandsons and granddaughters. Love, love, love him.

He inspires me because he has received many different offers from teams like the Steelers and the Patriots and turned them down to coach the team he truly believes in, the Nittany Lions. I admire that he's followed his true passion for 61 years! I can only hope to lead such a successful and passionate life! I know that this is totally an atypical person to inspire someone, especially a female, but come on! The guy's a legend!

Well, girls, I'm going to go rest and hopefully recover a bit more. I hope that you all enjoy your week! Goodnight!

Lots of love!

XoXo,
Lexi

Let Me Fly - Day 15

Hello dolls! I had a really trying day today. For some reason I woke up a few times throughout the night and got sick to my stomach. It was horrible. Then I had a really painful doctor's appointment. I'll find out results soon. Wish me luck.

Thank you girls for the well wishes. I really appreciate them. Moving on to something positive...I'm supposed to post a picture of something I'd like to do before I die.



I would absolutely LOVE to live in another country. I've traveled a bit and loved every minute of it. I live to explore, so any time I travel is like a dream come true. That's why I think that I would be perfect somewhere other than the US. Movies like "Eat Pray Love" and "Letters to Juliet" make me swoon for other cultures. I absolutely adore the United States and more specifically my home state of New Jersey, but I'm craving somethinng different.

I've written before about my bestest friend and how we began doing an annual vacation. Last year we went to Florida, but this year we're thinking of Puerto Rico. Still in the States, but there's ocean that separates it, haha. That counts! My best friend hasn't been as lucky as I have to travel as much as I have, so we figured we'd get some quality bestie time AND see some great places together. Bonus!

So as my title implies, let me fly! I wanna go! I need to get out and explore! That's what I want to do before I die. See some amazing places and explore extraordinary cultures. Fingers crossed that I get to do at least a little! What do you want to do before you die?!

Well, dolls, I'm exhausted, sore, and feeling really icky. I need sleep desperately. Night!

Lots of love!

XoXo,
Lexi

Exhausted - Day 14

Hello, dolls! I'm still super sick and completely exhausted. Luckily I've had the past few days off, but I started my second job today. It was a good day but I still feel really sick and I'm just soooo tired as a result.

I have a really big doctor's appointment tomorrow (which has nothing to do with my being sick now) and I'm scared. I could potentially receive some very bad news. Wish me luck please! I need your positive thoughts.

So day 14 of the challenge is a picture of someone I can't imagine my life without. This is definitely my mother. I've mentioned her before, but she'll forever be the most important person in my life (until I have kids I guess). So here it is, a picture of me and my mom. Its an older picture, but still really cute.

Our fashion was awesomeee.

I love my mom so much. Sadly we don't have too many pictures together. I don't know how that has happened, but I guess from now on we'll have to make sure we take more!

Well, girls, I'm in some serious need of R & R. I will write again soon! Night dolls!

Lots of love!

XoXo,

Lexi

Sick :( - Day 13

Hello dolls! Sorry I've been gone! I've been super super sick. I have like the flu mixed with bronchitis. Its absolutely wretched. I just feel like being in bed and never moving an inch. I'm going to keep this post short as I really need to get some more rest. Day 13 means a picture of my favorite musical group or artist. I'll give you a hint...if I don't write a long post will you Hold It Against Me?
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You guessed it! It's Britney, bitch! I LOVE this girl. She's had her ups and downs, but she will always be absolutely fabulous. Even if you're not a fan you can't deny the girl doesn't have catchy songs, a gorgeous face and body, and serious skills (well, maybe you can deny it, but you'd be wrong)!

Love her Louboutins!

I will forever have a girl crush on Ms. Britney Spears. How many of you are fans of hers? Who is your favorite artist?

Wish me luck in recovering from this illness! Have a good night girls!

Lots of love!

XoXo,

Lexi

I'm A Super Dork - Day 12

Hello dolls! So today is day 12 of my challenge! Can't believe it. I wish that I could write every day but sometimes I just don't have the energy or focus. I'm sure I'll get there eventually. I'm loving writing, though. I always have. I used to be on my high school/college newspapers and always found it a phenomenal creative outlet. I've decided that after these 30 days of my challenge are up I'll start posting actual pics of myself/clothes/all that fun stuff. For now, this will be a very nerdy post.

Something that I absolutely LOVE is hummingbirds! They're amazing. I love them so much I have a tattoo of one! Here's a picture of a gorgeous, bright-colored little beauty:

Nature's beauty at its best.

These incredible little birds are also very interesting! Here are some facts because I'm a dork:

- Their hearts can beat up to 1,260 times/min.

- They have no sense of smell.

- They are the smallest of all birds, but make up the second largest family of 343 species.

- Their wings rotate in a full circle.

- They don't suck up food through their beaks but instead drink nectar with their tongues.

- They can fly an average of 25-30 mph, but they can dive up to 60 mph.

These little birds are so cute and amazing for such tiny creatures! Some people are able to feed hummingbirds out of their hands. I completely aspire to be able to do that. The closest I've gotten was a wild squirrel in college that would sit near me at the bus stop and eat out of my hand. It was actually kind of incredible. Oh, Penn State squirrels. They're a legend all their own!

Well, that my was my super nerdy, dorky post. I'm definitely a geek for animals. I hope that you are all having a great week! I'm feeling terrible today and I'm on call tonight so I'm pretty miserable, but I'm keeping my chin up! Thanks for the support on my last post by the way. I appreciate it! Good night girls!

Lots of love!

XoXo,

Lexi

In A Funk - Long Post - Day 11

Hello, dolls! How are you all? I'm sorry I've been MIA again. I've been in a funk (a.k.a. a bit depressed) lately. I'm not entirely sure why. I'm in the mood to spill my guts. Probably not the best thing to do, but its the kind of therapy I need right now. So here goes:

Part of my funk has to do with finances. I'm super poor right now and my student loans just started coming due. I'm freaking out. I'm taking on another part-time job in order to cover some of the bills I have due. I just can't let them slide like I used to. I was such an idiot financially in college. I didn't take responsibility for my bills and, as a result, I was constantly late and even defaulted on some of them. I probably would've been more OK with that had my mom not been a co-signer/cardholder on most of those accounts. Not only did I screw myself, but I screwed my mom over, too. Ugh. Disappointing.

Another thing that I've been down on myself about is my body. I've had the worst eating habits forever and God have I gotten big as a result. I do have a health disorder that contributes to my being overweight, so I can't take all the blame, but I certainly take most. For the 11th day of the challenge, I'm supposed to post a picture of something that I hate. I'm going to do something I REALLY don't want to do - the unthinkable. I'm going to post a picture of me in a bra and underwear to show you why I get down on myself.

Honestly, I know I'm overweight. I convince myself, however, that "I'm not really THAT fat." Ugh. I want to be at a point where I don't need any convincing. I used to be in way better shape. I was captain of my swim team, swam in freezing cold water early in the morning, walked, played, was just active. Now I'm quite sedentary. I still try to get exercise in with my dog or walk around my job as much as I can. Its hard, though, because for the most part I'm stuck behind a counter. I'm not trying to make excuses; these are truths. I know that I'm the only one who can change myself.

Until now, I've lacked a lot of motivation. My wonderful boyfriend has always been amazingly supportive and has told me that he will back me up 100% no matter how I look or what I want to do. God love him. I have been trying to eat healthier. I've been starting to cook - wait, I can cook?! Yes, I learned miraculously that I am a pretty decent cook. No one has gotten sick or even spit out my food. A-MA-ZING. I always knew that I could bake (I'm really good at it), but cooking was a scary realm to me...until I tried it. As it turns out, I love finding ways to incorporate more vegetables into my diet, different things to cook for my boyfriend, and tasty dinners for my mom and I. I'm so proud of myself.

I've been cooking for about two weeks and in the past few days I've had three people tell me I look slimmer. I feel great. So I think that I've finally found my motivation to lose the weight: I want to have a healthy lifestyle, I want to feel better, I want to have healthy babies, and my goodness do I want to fit into better clothes. I'm posting this picture because I think its finally time that I step up and face facts. I'm not thin, I haven't been for a while, and the only way I will be is if I take responsibility for myself. But in order to do that, I really have to admit to myself that I'm...yikes...F-A-T FAT.

WARNING: If the sight of a scantily-dressed overweight person freaks you out, stop reading. If not, read on. I mean, sorry I'm doing this in my (*gasp* mismatched) undies, but I can't be afraid to face reality. So here it is on day 11 of my 30-day challenge:

Apparently this is me "slimmer"?! What the hell did I look like before?

I don't really look that heavy, right? False. I don't know what its like to have my thighs not touch. They don't just touch, they rub together. I've even found holes in my pants where they've worn out because of my thighs. I don't wear just a tank top or a sleeveless shirt because my arms are like batwings. They aren't supposed to wave back when I wave, right? And my stomach. My poor, poor stomach. I used to have a flat one and even had a four-pack/six-pack. No longer. Now its just flab. Muffins are OK. Muffin tops are NOT OK. Even my fingers and toes are fat. So sad. Like little sausages.

I'm sorry to say these negative things. I honestly believe that women of all shapes and sizes are amazing and beautiful. I truly do. I just know that my body doesn't feel good at all anymore. Its sick of carrying around more weight than it should for my frame. I'm only 5'4" and am broad-shouldered, but I have short legs and a short torso. I should weigh about 130 to be at a healthy BMI. I'm not ready to admit how far over that I am, but its a substantial amount. Grr.

Well, honestly, having a picture of me looking my worst readily available on the internet should be some motivation to get a better one up, right? I plan to work hard to be fit and healthy, not just look better. I really want to FEEL it.

I do apologize for subjecting you all to my ranting and raving. If you read this whole post, thank you. I hope that you'll all support me in my endeavor to overcome my own craziness. I'm off to bed. I'm on call until 7:30 tomorrow morning so I need some sleep. Night, dolls!

Lots of love!

XoXo,
Lexi

Fresh Start - Day 10

Hello dolls! How are things? I've been keeping busy. On the days that I'm not working my mom and I have been cleaning and re-organizing/re-decorating the house. It seriously needs a new look. The lady that lived here before us had really awful taste. We've kind of tried to work around it until now. This change couldn't come at a better time! I will post pics of my room when I'm happy with it. Have any of you begun to make a change for 2011?

Unfortunately like yesterday I have a limited amount of time, so I'll just post a picture and be done with it. This is a picture of Chris and I. We're insane when we're together. We drove into NYC one day just for fun. We had stopped at BK on the way in to get something little to eat (and obviously get crowns). As we headed home we noticed that a Sonic had opened up. The two of us being the fat kids at heart that we are, decided to stop at Sonic as well. I wore my BK crown and we both wore our sunglasses (at night). Its a very unflattering picture but it shows only one instance of the craziness we called college:

Haha. What dorks.

Well, dolls, I'm off. Have a great day!

Lots of love!

XoXo,

Lexi



I Will Survive - Day Nine

Hello dolls! How are you all? I hope that everyone's New Year's weekend was a good one. Other than working all day yesterday mine was fab. I wish it happened more often!

I have to make today a quick post because I have tons of things to do! Hopefully I can get my mom out of the house for a bit so I can have some sanity! Just kidding. Sort of. Speaking of my mom, today's picture is of the person who has gotten you through the most. That is definitely my mom. She has been my sister, best friend, and mother all rolled into one. I will write a more lengthy post on her in the coming months. For now, here is a picture from Halloween. She has a habit of talking while pictures are being taken, so that's why she looks the way she does. And we're both very awkwardly posed.

That's my mama! <3

She's so pretty. I love her. When I'm skinnier we look more alike, but people are always telling us how they can definitely tell we're related. Do you look more like your mother or father?

Well, dolls, I'm off. Have a great day!

Lots of love!

XoXo,

Lexi

Happy New Year! Day Eight - 1/1/11!

Hello dolls! Happy New Year! Hope that you all had a wonderful New Year's Eve. Mine was so nice and relaxing. Just what I needed! Luckily I had the day off today so I did a little cleaning and ran a few errands. Peaceful and perfect.

My mom and I just got done watching "The Twilight Saga: Eclipse". It was her first time seeing it. She liked it but was mad that it ended when it did..."Are you kidding? Its over already?" She's funny. She wanted it to go on longer. I had forgotten how Kristen Stewart was as an actress. Without saying anything too negative, she's definitely not my favorite.

On a lighter note, today's part of the challenge is to post a picture of something that makes me laugh. This picture was from two years ago and a bunch of us went into NYC to celebrate my friend's birthday. His name is Chris and he's the only male in the picture - lucky guy! I only knew two people in the picture prior to that night (my friend Jess and Chris), but I met so many good people! My then-boyfriend, Ryan, was also there, but he took the picture.

The picture is funny because we were in a limo and as we were driving through Times Square (where I used to work - miss it) Chris forced the driver to stop so we could take this picture. When we got out we were ffffrrreeeezzziiinnggg. It was the end of January and it wasn't exactly the kind of weather you'd want to go out in. Regardless, we all got out, stood in the middle of Times Square, and posed to take a picture. While we were doing so, people were yelling in the background and a cardboard box was blown into the middle of all of us. It was classic. Here it is:

Hahaha. Note the box on the bottom left.

All I think about when I look at this is:

A) What the hell am I wearing?

B) Why did I let myself go out without a coat?

C) How was I ever ok with going sleeveless when I was that heavy? -and-

D) Why haven't we had more nights like that?

Well, I'm off to bed. Its late and I certainly didn't get enough sleep after last night. Here's to a fresh start for some of us, an even better year for others, and a year of change for most of us. Take advantage of it! Also, I am super excited to have my first follower! Thank you!

Lots of love!

XoXo,

Lexi